the end of the world - NOT Friday, 13 January

As many readers are likely aware, the world did not end in the first intermission of the Winnipeg Jets - San Jose Sharks NHL game last night. I apologize if this led to any inconvenience, but to be frank, the world actually ending would be far more inconvenient than being prepared for a predicted end of the world that was not forthcoming.

I have discovered two minor errors in my previous prediction, and am currently working on revisions to my methodology to account for these errors and assure you, my followers, of much greater accuracy in future clarification of the end times.

First of all, despite the evidence to the contrary, it turns out the Winnipeg Jets have nothing to do with the end of the world. The return of NHL hockey to the Manitoba capital after the previous Jets moved to Phoenix in 1996 would no doubt appear to be a major harbinger. This could still prove to be true, but I am confident that whatever it is a harbinger of is not, in fact, the apocalypse.

Of course, the game between the Jets and the Sharks therefore had no major implications for the ultimate cataclysm, only a little impact on the NHL season, and indeed, there were fewer jazz dance snap fights in the game than I was expecting. Far fewer. The omens and portents are subtle, and interpreting them correctly subtler still. I think, in this instance, I may have been just a little too subtle.

More updates to come, as new revelations - better make that epiphanies - come to me. Suffice it to say that the world will not end today, Friday the 13th of January. That kind of superstitious claptrap has no business in the understanding of the end of days.