I have a good idea for a replacement advisory system, but they haven't been returning my calls for some reason. (Though they did say my name would be added to a list they keep of special people!)
Here's the system I proposed:
Oprah. Routine precautions. No travel restrictions.
Cher. Elevated precautions. Restricted travel for listed individuals; all air travelers subject to random searches. Ongoing patrols of major transportation infrastructure: bridges, tunnels, airports and railway stations.
Gaga. Severe. Known threat of imminent attack. Most air travel grounded. Restrictions on rail travel.
Busey. Attack currently in progress. Take extreme measures for security and safety: marshal law, total grounding of all foreign and domestic flights, transportation lockdown on all federal highways.
Sheen. No safe place anywhere. Kiss your kids goodbye.