Is your community crumbling? Are your schools failing? Are your kids turning into criminals? Is the whole world a crazy twisting tumult of treacherous, treasonous terror?
... But you don't know what to do about it?
POPULIST UPRISING is the solution to your problems! But how do you get a populist uprising started? You're already working two jobs, and your spouse is still looking for work. Who has the time, the energy, or the money to start a populist uprising from scratch? Populist uprisings don't grow out of the ground like grass!
But now, with new POPULIST UPRISING (TM), you can start your own protest movement from the comfort of your own home! POPULIST UPRISING (TM) is the new do-it-yourself solution to the problems of organizing a broad, largely incoherent political anger into a slick, modern, media-savvy brand name.
Each POPULIST UPRISING (TM) kit comes complete with
- anti-establishment propaganda!
- pre-printed protest signs! (alliteration $10 extra per sign)
- posters portraying numerous current politicians and media moguls as Satan or Hitler!
- media talking-points!
- exclusive website kit - just add your new protest group's name and gain instant buzz!
- almost-penitent speeches to give when someone following your movement is arrested for bombing a federal building, abortion clinic, school, post office, library, or 7-Eleven!
Only $49.95. Available at participating Wal-Mart stores, Borders Books and Music, Starbucks, Pier1 Imports, Scotty's Donuts, your local Chevron or BP station, 7-Elevens across the nation, Olive Garden or Red Lobster restaurants, or by download through our exclusive online retailers: the New York Times, Google, Microsoft, Amazon, eBay, or through any number of other outlets.