Sunday, February 04, 2007

what I need: a motto

I came to the conclusion, as I recall, in the car, while running errands, just the other day. I'm pretty sure we were on Geer Road, heading south, dealing with typical Turlock traffic, to wit, gaggles of overlarge SUVs being driven very badly by soccer moms on cell phones, handfuls of little cars with loud mufflers and stereos that shake the whole car and the pavement surrounding driven very badly by 20-something underemployed guys, and Buicks being driven very badly by old people. (Not that I condone stereotyping. In fact, that could be a potential motto: "Officially, I don't condone stereotyping. Unofficially, guys with cars like that are idiots." Eh. Not so much.)

I'm pretty sure we saw a very inane bumper sticker, and decided that this was the (very bad) driver's motto. It might have been the truck with the little cartoon Calvin figure from the long-defunct Calvin & Hobbes strip, peeing onto the words "gun control."

Anyway, choosing a motto, I figure, would be a simple, effective way of advancing my life prospects. It has to be snappy, relevant, and encouraging of the kind of behavior that would advance my life prospects. So "I like cheese," though true, is not a strong contender.

I'll consider contributions from all sources, and meanwhile continue my deliberations here.

So far, I have only one candidate: "You gotta eat." More, I hope, later.


Bobo the Wandering Pallbearer said...

I have had a variety of mottos over the years. Amongst them have been such trivialities as "Life is good," "Just happy to be here," and "It's always five o'clock somewhere." In New York, my motto is "I could eat." The Wifey's motto, which she recites at literally any excuse, is "I've never been to Belize," which is a line from "Ocean's Eleven."

But I figure my current motto must be the thing I say, to myself or others, is a line from the Simpsons, which I find myself repeating in all kinds of situations, usually when soemone else does something that doesn't quite seem to make sense:

"There's your answer, fish-bulb."

Doc Nagel said...

Amusing, but unhelpful.

Though in a way they may be helpful, in setting a focus for this project. I realize that I want a definite tone to this, a credo if you will, and not a catch-phrase. (I've had tons o' them, including "My ears are so flexible," "Well, time to go corrupt the youth!" and "Holy cats!")

Yes, definitely a credo.

Bobo the Wandering Pallbearer said...

I maintain that "I could eat" is my credo, at least when in New York. "There's your answer, fish-bulb" is a motto: it means that not all things people choose to do make any real sense, nor should we expect them to.

But, as far as credoes go, I would submit that I have 2 I cleave to and stand by: De Gustibus Non Dibutandem Est, which means getyer goddamned hands offa my food, nad Illigitimus Non Carborundum, which is IBM-ese for "Don't let the bastards grind you down." (I was an IBM kid for the first few years of my life.)