Friday, April 01, 2005

Newz!! Congress to intervene in Pope case

[This'll be timely for approximately 2 hours, but heck.]

REUTERS. Calling to order a special session of Congress, Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Tex) and Sen. Bill Frist (R-Tenn) have challenged fellow law-makers to "protect the unprotected" in the case of Pope John Paul II.

The Pope has been admitted to an Italian hospital for the third time in three weeks, suffering complications from a series of illnesses. In addition, a nasal feeding tube implanted in the Pope two days ago has begun to cause the infection such extraordinary medical treatments almost always cause in the very sick and dying.

"This is a matter of principle," Frist explained. "We cannot sit by and let the Pope be victimized by Italian medical meekness." Frist called for "immediate action" by the US Supreme Court to hear the case to keep the Pope alive "by any means necessary."

Responding to reports that the Pope had already settled the matter, having provided in a living will that all possible medical means to keep him alive should be employed, Frist said, "that goes to show that we must act now. Time is short."

DeLay added, "if we can't protect the lives of those whose lives would otherwise be protected, then whose lives can we protect?" During the last days of Terri Schiavo, when Congress intervened to call for a 5th hearing by federal courts, it was revealed that DeLay had decided to pull the plug on his father.

Responding to charges that Congress has no authority, nor indeed any interest, in the Pope's case, DeLay said, "That's a matter for the courts to decide. I'm no authority on law."

Meanwhile, in Rome, the Pope lay dying, but peaceful and serene. After having the Stations of the Cross read to him, he reportedly asked to see his favorite film, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

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