Saturday, February 19, 2005

Corrupting the youth

I overheard Tammy, our department secretary, complaining to someone on Friday that the first week of class was a full week this term - which is unusual, and, in her estimation, cruel. I hadn't thought of it until then, but it does explain why Lauren and I have been so tired, actually physically dragging ourselves out of bed Friday morning for our 9:05 classes.

Maybe it was the fatigue, or maybe I've just been extremely efficient this long first week, but I believe by the end of the day Friday I had convinced at least half my students that I'm at least half mad. This is an important step in my pedagogical practice, or as I prefer to call it, corrupting the youth. As long as they continue to believe that I can be trusted, or that anything I say could be important, they won't get the point.

One handy way to achieve this I learned from my pal Jim "The Most Optimistic Freedom Family Restaurant Patron in America, in Charlotte" Williams: cussing. I don't mean (and I don't think he advocates) spewing a continuous stream of obscenity so much as being loose-tongued. It promotes a relaxed atmosphere, or undermines the conceit of my authority, or something. Anyway, I think it's a good idea occasionally to conclude class, as I did yesterday, by announcing something like "Now I'm going to IKEA, and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me!"

Indeed we did go to IKEA, and indeed there wasn't a damn thing they could do to stop us. Mainly we just wanted to go out someplace for cheap thrills. Strolling IKEA provided. We also had need of a stand for the TV. IKEA provided. Halfway through the trip we were hungry. IKEA provided. I thought it'd be fun to get involved in a stampeding riot of cheap-furniture-crazed shoppers, but IKEA didn't provide.

I would like at some point to write about the IKEA experience. But today's agenda is already full.

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